This post is about the things that make us feel other things.
I’ve been thinking about this topic for awhile, but it received a punt to the forefront of my mental roster after a friend recommended the following episode of the Ezra Klein podcast: “How to Discover Your Own Taste”. I listened to it while wandering the shores of Miami’s South Beach, taking pictures of the jellyfish that washed up on the sand.
This episode leads listeners to think not only about their own taste, but how certain forces shape the taste of others in our society. It also comes with some good music and reading recommendations. After re-listening to most of the episode during a root canal scare (feel free to ask me about it offline), I decided to write about the ways that I cultivate and share my taste in what I watch, read, listen to, wear, and otherwise appreciate.
As someone who somewhat curates taste through this blog, I’ll list some things that I currently do, followed by some things that I want to do regarding this topic.
things i do
1. Pay attention
I wish it let me write that subheading in lower case. I really do.
Nevertheless, paying attention is important. When you go out into the world and experience things, impressions will be left on your brain. Some things will make you feel great, and others will make you feel like you should crawl back into bed. We go through most of our lives ignoring most of the stimuli that the world throws at us.
But some things stick.
They can be as simple as the color of a lone red leaf on a tree outside or the tattoo on a barista’s elbow. The riff played by a guitar that transcends the noise of a bar on a Saturday night. The shockingly blue eyes of your neighborhood cat.
Two of my favorite creatives, Hayao Miyazaki and Haruki Murakami, both speak of this in slightly different forms. Miyazaki speaks of observing the natural movement of things, which helped him create animations that seem so lifelike, even though they’re two-dimensional. In Novelist as Vocation, Murakami writes of noticing the moments that are a bit too surreal in our everyday lives. This has undoubtably influenced his writing, which has a beautiful surreal quality to it.
Pay attention to whatever moves you, even if it’s just a little.
2. Learn how to think about the things you consume
Recently, I read How to Read Literature Like a Professor. The book, among other things, provides a framework for looking for reading deeply. For example, looking for themes, symbols, and motifs that allow you to appreciate literature in different dimensions that contribute to and sometimes transcend the raw story. While this sounds like a drag to anyone who’s suffered through an English class, it’s actually incredibly rewarding when you do it with things that you like. And his lessons don’t just apply to books: for example, looking for Christ imagery in a book is similar to searching for it in a movie or painting. Authors using their predecessors’ quotes is analogous to sampling in music.
Reading without doing this is kind of like reading Wikipedia without hyperlinks. You can trace back influences, discover new (and old) ideas and works of art, and appreciate the artistic techniques at work. Once you learn how to read beyond two-dimensions, the multiverse of the sum of knowledge and our human experience will be at your fingertips.
3. Review
“The unexamined life is not worth living”
Socrates, supposedly
I criticize everything. Even things that I enjoy. Especially things that I enjoy. It comes from a place of love. If you had good parents, you’d understand: they criticize you because they want you to be better. Is there a good way and a bad way to criticize a child? Absolutely. Just like there’s a good way and a bad way (bad in both cases meaning un-productive) to criticize things that you consume.
During and immediately after watching a movie or reading a book, my thoughts, opinions, and feelings rattle around my brain for a bit and then sublimate into thin air. Some of it probably makes it into the deep recesses of my psyche. But if I don’t make time to write about it or immediately end up discussing it with someone, most of it is gone. My brain has already moved on.
In a few weeks—or months, or years—when someone asks me what I thought of the piece, even if that person is my future self—I may not remember. Or it might take me awhile. Or I might be inventing a memory of something that I never actually thought or experienced.
Articulating what you [don’t] like is incredibly important because it tells you more about yourself. You know how all those bad dates tell you exactly what you don’t want in a relationship? Like that.
Websites like Goodreads and Letterboxd are a blessing and a curse. They show us that there’s always more to explore and consume—and that can be overwhelming. But using them can allow us to be better curators of our own taste.
4. Start a book/movie/music/anything club
I am lucky enough to be living in a time when many of my friends are readers. And when books are readily available. And when women (in most places, but not all places) are allowed to read them. It’s led to my membership in three book clubs, which has been a great way to keep in touch with friends who live far away.
A few weeks ago, I had my first book club meeting. There were many things I liked about the book and many things I disliked. Whether the book was good or bad was less of the point than having a space to articulate your feelings, to have an obligation to show up having reflected on what you consumed, rather than tearing through a novel and immediately casting it aside for the next thing on your list.
If you’re not a reader, I encourage you to broaden your horizons and give reading a chance. If you still hate it after giving a real effort, there are plenty of other ways to join—or create—spaces where you can discuss things that you enjoy. In addition to joining meetup groups (online or in person), you could:
- Music: frequenting venues of live music of local bands, creating a group chat where you can share and discuss music (something I’ve been doing for the past few years)
- Food: weekly cooking/dining with friends/family
- Movies: instead of a book club, join/create a movie club
things i will do
Below are a list of things I hope to get better at, when it comes to art, taste, and self-knowledge:
- Music: currently, my only catalog mechanism is monthly Spotify playlists. I want to do a better job of documenting what I like, getting a deeper appreciation for styles I haven’t explored much, and learning more about the artists and music that I do like
- Fashion: making my outwards expression more reflective of my inner taste. Usually, I dress for comfort and find the easiest outfit that will fit the occasion. I’m also at a point where I have to rely on others instead of myself to assess whether my clothes look good or not.
- Important note: an internal radar for whether an outfit “works” needs to be developed, like a taste for wine or classical music. Many women are socialized and pressured to develop it. I’m just late to the party.
- Experiential Cataloging: Museum exhibits, book passages, strange smells, intrusive thoughts—anything that makes me feel something. The real, intense stuff will stick, of course. But there is value in having a cataloging mechanism that you review regularly—whether it’s a sourcebook, Zettel, mood board, Instagram account, or some other method.
- Wine
This Week’s Top 3
- “Creep – Reprise” by Jeanne Bonjour 🇫🇷 – the original song is an ANTHEM. I love this cover because it gives such a different energy
- The Red Shoes 🩰 – a surrealist ballet adventure— you get to see a lot of actual ballet, which was awesome
- Bar Part Time 🍷- this place is fantastic. Saw Scott Zacharias here last week.