Some of you know that I do monthly reviews. The process is fairly simple, though it’s not always fun. Here are the five steps to doing a simple monthly review:
- Set a timer for (30, 45, 60) minutes
- Free write for 20% of your timer time to brush the dust off your brain so you’re ready for some more intentional reflection
- If you made a list of goals for the month, have a habit tracker, or other previous documentation you’d like to review, spend ~30% of the time reviewing that
- For example, I make a list of goals at the end of each monthly review for the next month (Step 5). In step 3, I review last month’s Step 5 and see what I accomplished, what I didn’t, and what I sorta accomplished. Most of the things end up in the last bucket.
- If you made a list of goals for the quarter/year or previous documentation with your overarching goals for a longer period of time, spend ~30% of the time reviewing that and writing about how you’d like to approach this month.
- For example, I have a quarterly plan that I like to reference. Sometimes this step involves editing the quarterly plan.
- Spend the rest of the time creating a plan for next month
That’s it.
It seems simple but it is really boring most of the time, and sometimes it’s really demoralizing to see yourself fail to live up to the high standards you set for yourself. But the more you do this process, the better you get at managing expectations. That’s what the rest of this post is about.
How to Set Habits and Not Feel Like a Loser
Coach Bennett of the Nike Run Club (AKA the closest any of us will get to Ted Lasso IRL) once advised during a guided run that you should hold yourself to a higher standard than you hold anyone else to. It’s great advice, but hard to do the younger you are and the better your parental figures are. After some practice, you’ll get there.
The problem with this advice is that we often get ourselves into traps where we expect too much of ourselves and we fall short. I’m not the first person to notice or experience it. However, I have been finding some success in toeing the line between holding myself accountable to these standards while being realistic about my cognitive and physical capabilities. There’s three things that specifically stood out this month to me:
review
At the beginning of the year, my sister got a desktop calendar, something I had never used. I thought i could benefit from it, but needed a way to get my keyboard off my desk. So I went on Amazon and bought the calendar and a keyboard tray, which I assembled myself without any hiccups while watching Ted Lasso.
This monthly calendar is fantastic because I can see, at a glance, what I was up to this month. I put my workouts on there, my social engagements, and my trips. However, the most important thing I have in here is my habit tracking. I put a red “X” over every day this month that I wrote for at least an hour. During my monthly review, I can see how many days I actually wrote (It was less than I planned. It always is).
In addition to counting the days, I can see what days I tended to skip and this can help me modify my habits so I can better meet my goals. If you’re not meeting your habits, you should understand why. That is the most important thing. Pattern recognition is super important because you can learn things about yourself over time that will help you meet long-term goals (yes, a month is long-term).
The next step here would be to write a little note as to why I did not finish the habit as expected. This two-step process doesn’t take too much effort. You might have to install a keyboard tray first, but the fact that I was able to build it means that it’s easier than Legos.
One small step for current you, one giant leap for future you.
re-calibrate
This is true especially for young people, or people whose routines change a lot. A month in the life of a sixteen year old is way different than that of a twenty-six year old, which is way different than that of a fifty-six year old. Things change all the time, but the important thing is to reflect often, asking yourself if these changes in routine are good for the life you want to live and the person you want to be.
For example, I created a beautiful six-week plan to strengthen my back. This involved getting up early in the morning with enough time to work out, doing a programmed workout every day, and finishing out the session with some cardio.
But then I started rock climbing. At night.
This radically changed my daily and weekly schedule. I was too tired to work out in the morning. Moreover, the workouts I planned would have overtrained my body. Finally, I was left with less time to write, practice french, and sleep.
Was rock climbing a bad thing because it made me divert from the plan? Of course not. On the contrary, it’s a great way to strengthen your back and get moving. But such a large change in routine necessitated that I re-evaluate what I was doing, and whether the long-term (yes, a month is a long-term time period) plan I created fit the kind of lifestyle I wanted to live. It turns out, that lifestyle involves rock climbing, and so my fitness plan and health habits changed to support that.
re-lent
After this year’s Superbowl, everyone is familiar with Lent and when it started this year. This year, I had the idea to give up something that I enjoy or do by habit every month. In January, it was alcohol. In February it was watching TV alone (unless I was on an exercise machine). The result was that I watched a lot more content on YouTube. While you may not see this as an improvement, let me qualify two things
- I mostly watched French language learning videos and informational content about ballet
- I don’t find YouTube to be as addictive as someone who has a habit of watching it, so it was easy for me to shut off the video when I was done stretching, eating, cleaning, etc.
- I got rid of my addictive TV habit
So, doing something differently every month can help you break old patterns, even if you occasionally fill that void with something equally as “bad” for you.
This Week’s Top Three
- Swan Lake 🩰 – last Sunday, I went to SFBallet and watched Swan Lake and it was AMAZING. I went home and bought tickets for another ballet for the next month.
- “The Mango” 🥭 – one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes that I watched (on the stairmaster)
- Faction Brewing 🍺 – even though the ladies’ room is on the whole other side of the warehouse…
Bonus: February Playlist. Reference is to Chesterson’s story “The Arrow of Heaven” which I did not read but still appreciated.