This past Friday, we celebrated a birthday with pizzas and a fire pit. I met many new friends around the crackling embers that night. It turns out we were all in similar life boats after our social lives hit the COVID-19 iceberg. Many of us had similar stories of college-fueled extraversion turned to quarantine-necessitated introversion. How we got our energy—who we became—was largely a product of circumstance.
In peak quarantine, I bettered the relationship I had with myself. While isolation gave me that opportunity to grow, it caused me to forget a crucial part of my identity: who I am around others. We often think about self-discovery as a solo adventure. However, knowing who we are around our friends, family, and total strangers is just as important.
A few weeks ago, I discovered how much my social muscles had truly atrophied. While volunteering with Science at Cal event staff, I found myself struggling socially. As I checked tickets and vaccine cards, I realized that I don’t know how to be myself around strangers anymore. After going home, I searched for ways to improve this aspect of my identity. I spoke at a professional development workshop. I started going into the office and meeting my co-workers. These efforts were good starts, but I was missing something.
I needed some professional experience with flesh-and-blood people. I also needed the pressure to learn these skills quickly and effectively. This led me to my second job as part-time concert support staff. During my first shift, I felt like I did volunteering with Science at Cal. Instead of being welcoming, I was stiff, awkward, and confused. How close should I stand to other people? Am I too loud? Or not loud enough? What do I say to someone I know nothing about?
After my first day, I felt better about these problems. Even though I was nowhere near solving them, acknowledging them gave me the confidence to do better at my next show. Since then, I’ve become more confident in social gatherings. I don’t think about who I want to be anymore—I just am. If, like me, you’re coming out of a social slump, get a job or volunteer somewhere you can practice your people skills under pressure—it’ll pay off 🐻
This Week’s Top Five
- Briones Regional Park – come here to see cows, climb hills, and feel like you’re in a Miyazaki movie 🌻
- Hip Hop Class – @ In the Groove Studios. Learn a short routine & put your own spin on it 💃🏾
- Farley’s East – Yummy & healthy lunch with co-workers—yes, I am making friends in the office 👩🏾💻