Side note, if you’ve ever wondered what the official, linguistic name for the syntactic, repetitive phenomenon in the title is (i.e. mad mad), it’s called contrastive focus reduplication
release the kraken 🦑
Much of being able to control your temper comes from not really having anything to be angry about. Sure, there are people who are angry about nothing. They’re often cutting you off in traffic or yelling at the barista while you wait patiently behind them in line or some sports coach you had as a kid. Even though you can feel angry for no reason at all, it’s a lot harder to keep your cool when there’s a reason to lose your temper.
The worst thing that happened to me was probably getting robbed. I chased down the thieves (an incredibly poor decision on my part, actually), guttural sounds coming from my throat, waving my fist in the air like a geriatric neighbor, screaming “PLEASE HELP I’VE BEEN ROBBED GAAAAAAAH”. Due to my then-fashionable skinny jeans and never-fashionable unfitness, I never caught up to them. I am sad to report that it took me a few hours to gain my composure. And all they took was my stuff. I wasn’t harmed at all. Except for my pride, of course.
I had another laptop-related issue pretty recently. Without going into too much detail, I’ll say that it involved a prospective cross-country flight and/or an uncomfortable talk with my boss. When I was trying to solve this issue, I literally could not entertain another thought (unless it was about food). When someone would talk to me about anything—computer-related or not—I would have to summon my last bit of willpower not to snap.
Controlling the kraken 🧘🏾♀️
I’ve always admired people who demonstrate grace under pressure. There’s two ways to get there: join an ashram or learn to control your anger. Only one of these options lets you keep your dog.
It’s not healthy to never get angry. Living with other human beings will make you angry. Anger can even be a useful source of motivation, if you don’t let it consume you. Instead of trying to get rid of anger, learn from The Hulk: recognize that some part of you will always be angry, and use it when the moment is right.
Most of the time, the moment will not be right. Here’s where you use ever-so-exciting ~planning~ strategy. If something is stressing you out or angering you, write down or dictate your plan for handling it. This has two useful applications, in addition to actually helping you prepare to face your problem:
- It helps you separate what you can control from what you can’t. Perhaps the most important distinction of all time.
- It helps you not take your anger/stress/bad vibes out on other people. If you want someone’s advice, you can talk through some well-thought out options. If you don’t want help and people keep trying to offer it to you, you can tell them you have a plan and change the topic. If you’re the kind of person who just wants to talk about their problems to feel better, maybe doing this plan exercise with a trusted individual can help.
At the end of the day, the best ways to stop from releasing the Kraken: eat well. sleep well. surround yourself with good people (and some dogs). make a commitment to cutting the stress out of your life. And if you ever get robbed (again), maybe you’ll maintain your composure and catch that thief!
This Week’s Top 3
- People-watching in this Kaytranada Boiler Room 🎵 – watch til the end, it’s worth it
- Audrey Nuna 💿 – straight up space jams
- Kabooki Ube Cheesecake 🍰